


A Pregnant Pause

by GeekLover



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLover/pseuds/GeekLover
Summary: On their way to college, Merlin and Arthur get thrown a curveball neither of them is prepared for
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 140
Collections: Merlin Holidays 2019





	A Pregnant Pause

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rotrude](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotrude/gifts).



> For rotrude
> 
> Hope your holidays have been great!
> 
> Thanks to the mods for running this fest!

“Arthur, a quelle heure vous attendez-vous a etre d’arriver a Edimbourg?”

His father’s words went in one ear and out the other as Arthur continued to stare down at his dresser. He could have sworn he had left his thumb ring there before he showered.

“Arthur, avez-vous me entendez?” Uther said, his voice even more strident than before.

At the risk of enraging his father, Arthur continued to ignore him and briskly walked over to his bathroom. To be fair, he was under a bit of a time crunch. Leon would be there at any minute and Arthur wasn’t leaving without his ring. His boyfriend Merlin had given it to him for their three year anniversary.

“Arthur!”

It was clear his father wouldn’t take the hint - he never did - and leave so Arthur whirled around to face him. “Father, I really don’t have time-”

“Non.” His father held up his finger. “En Francais, s’il vous plait.” 

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. “Father, I’m sorry but I don’t have time to say it in French or any other language.” 

He didn’t wait for Uther’s response and went into his bathroom.

No luck there.

Aside from a comb, toothbrush, and a few hair care products, the red marble countertop was empty. 

“Arthur, it shouldn’t take you very long to answer me - especially in French. I spent enough on that tutor. You should be able to speak it in your sleep.”

Arthur got down on his hands and knees and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his father’s annoyed tone. 

He didn't ask for the French tutor, that was his father’s idea. Of course having to spend hours learning the language wasn’t enough and lately his father had insisted they only speak French in the house.

It was one reason of many he was looking forward to this weekend away.

Arthur ducked his head around the corner of the vanity and almost let out a loud whoop when he spotted his ring by the toilet.

“I shouldn’t have to remind you of my expectations when you accompany me on my next business trip to France.” His father pressed on. “I will not have you embarrassing me when we get there. Is that clear?”

As he placed the silver run back on his finger, he stood up and faced Uther. “Of course, father.” Arthur grinned. “Mon francais est si impeccable, meme le Prince Albert sera impressionne.”

Judging by his stone face, Uther was less than impressed by Arthur’s response. Arthur also didn’t miss the way Uther’s lip curled as he looked at the thick ring on his finger.

Arthur sidestepped him and went back to his room. He grabbed his black duffle bag and unzipped it to make sure everything was all there.

“You haven't answered my question.”

Arthur sighed. “Father, we’ve been through this a hundred times. We should be arriving at around five. My match is tomorrow midday and we’ll drive back and I’ll be spending the night at Leon’s. Do you need me to write it down?”

Uther narrowed his eyes. “That won’t be necessary. You should be more grateful I'm allowing you to go there without me at all.”

Arthur zipped up his bag and turned to his father with what he hoped was an appropriately chastened expression.

While he was certainly grateful Uther would not be accompanying him, it was more due to a fortunate conflict in his father’s schedule, rather than his father trusting him to go without him.

“You’re right. I do appreciate you trusting me and allowing me to do this.”

Uther nodded. “I trust you and I trust Leon. I’m pleased he’s going with you and not…”

This time Arthur couldn’t suppress his eye roll. He knew exactly who his father was referring to. 

He was almost surprised Uther attempted some tact and didn’t finish the sentence. His feelings about Merlin were no secret and he wasn’t shy about expressing them.

Just then Arthur’s phone buzzed and he walked over to his bedside table to pick it up. He smiled when he looked down and saw the text from Merlin.

His father unsubtly tried to look over his shoulder. Arthur shoved his phone in his pocket and looked over at Uther.

Uther took a step back. “I’m sure that was from Merlin. You don’t have to hide it from me. Was he wishing you good luck?”

“Something like that.”

They said nothing for a few second and Arthur shuffled his feet. A loud knock on the door saved them from the awkward moment.

“That’s probably Leon.”

“I’ll get it,” Uther said, already quickly walking out of the room.

Arthur shook his head and went to pick up his bag. 

It didn’t take him long to get to the door, but Leon still looked completely miserable as his father conversed stiffly with him.

When he spotted Arthur, Leon looked over and his eyes clearly expressed his keen desire to leave as soon as possible.

Arthur chuckled softly before he headed over and practically pushed Leon outside. “We really should be leaving, father.”

He didn’t bother to look back as rushed ahead and got to Leon’s car and hopped in. Arthur looked out the window. His father was scowling.

They backed away and he gave a quick wave. “I’ll see you in a few days.” He called out. 

They turned a corner and Arthur exhaled deeply as he sat back. 

Leon grinned at him.

“Thank you for doing this.”

Leon shrugged. “It’s no problem. You’d do the same for me if I my father hated my girlfriend.” He paused. “Of course I’d have to ever have a girlfriend first.”

Arthur laughed. They came to a stop after another minute. 

Merlin was leaning against his small grey Alto which was parked outside Leon’s house. When Leon parked next to him, Arthur was out in a flash.

Merlin was already smiling, but it grew wider as he spotted Arthur.

Arthur felt ridiculous over how giddy he felt. With the way his stomach was churning and how much he wanted to just leap in Merlin’s arms, you would think he hadn’t seen Merlin in days, rather than the hours it had truly been.

He couldn’t help his reaction. Even after more than three years together seeing Merlin for the first time was always the highlight of his day.

There was an added layer of happiness this time knowing they were going away together for the first time.

Arthur managed to keep his cool somewhat and didn’t break out into a run. He strode forward briskly and pulled Merlin into a deep kiss.

Merlin pulled back and chuckled. “Someone’s excited.”

Leon groaned behind them. “Please, I really don’t want to hear about Arthur’s ‘excitement’ this early in the morning.”

Merlin’s cheeks reddened as Arthur just laughed. 

“I’m very sorry your virgin ears had to hear such filthy talk,” Arthur teased as he took his bag from Leon’s hands.

“Virgin ears.” Leon tried to adopt a stern look, but his voice still sounded playful. “That’s the thanks I get for being such a wonderful friend.”

“You’re right,” Merlin said in all seriousness. “We’re really grateful for this.” He stepped forward and gave Leon a hug.

“See this is proper gratitude.” Leon pointed to Merlin. “Why aren’t you my best friend instead of Arthur?”

Merlin pulled back and smiled.

Arthur walked over and put his arms around him from behind as he grinned at Leon. “Because you’ve known me since we were ten and you’re stuck with me.” His grin faded a bit and he nodded. “Thank you.”

Leon gave a short salute and walked back towards his car.

After they heard Leon’s car start up, Merlin swiveled around and put his arms around Arthur’s neck. “Are you ready?”

Arthur gave him another lingering kiss. “Yes.”

Merlin got into the passenger’s seat as Arthur walked around. Even though it was Merlin’s car, he had just learned to drive not that long ago and decided that Arthur would drive while he navigated.

As soon as he was seated, Merlin pulled out his phone and opened his organizer app.

Arthur chuckled. “Let me guess, you have planned the trip down to the last detail?”

Merlin glanced over and him and shrugged. “One of us has to be organized.”

“True.” Arthur nodded slowly. “But there’s organized and then there’s being…” A slow smile spread over Arthur’s face. “Anal.”

“I’m not…” Merlin cleared his throat and then gave Arthur a look he knew all too well. His “how am I in love with such a big child” look. “I’m not that bad.”

“Have you planned bathroom breaks?” Arthur gripped the steering wheel and took a left turn. 

Merlin pursed his lips and stared down at his phone. “Yes.”

“Anal.”

Merlin whacked Arthur’s arm. 

Arthur winced slightly, but smiled.

“We don’t get to do this very often. I just want to make sure we maximize our time wisely.”

Arthur shuddered. “Merlin, I hate to say this, but sometimes you very much remind me of my father.”

Merlin looked up sharply from his phone. “Ew.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Though I suppose in some ways that makes some sense. A lot of people are attracted to those who share similar traits to their parents.”

“Isn’t there a name for that? An Oedipus complex?”

“Well, that wouldn’t really apply to you. An Oedipal complex would be if you were attracted to your…” Merlin trailed off and he looked at Arthur out of the corner of his eye. He swallowed.

Arthur chewed his lip. “If I was attracted to my mother?”

“Yes,” Merlin whispered.

Arthur scratched the back of his head. “Well, you would know my future psychologist.” He briefly looked over at Merlin and smiled. 

Merlin seemed to relax after that and his shoulders sagged.

“So, how did your father take it when he found out you were coming with me this weekend?” Arthur asked.

While Merlin’s father, Balinor, didn’t dislike him the way Uther disliked Merlin, it wasn’t like he welcomed Arthur with open arms either. But thankfully Merlin didn’t usually have to lie about spending time with him the way Arthur sometimes had to. Which was a good thing since Merlin was a terrible liar.

“Surprisingly well.” Merlin looked down at his phone.

Arthur cocked his head to the side and glanced at him. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

Merlin sighed. “No. My mum thought it was best if she did. He was at work when I left. She’ll tell him when I get home.”

“Hmm.” Arthur said. “Should be fun the next time I’m at your house.”

“He’ll get over it. I promise.” Merlin reached over and gripped his hand. 

“Alright.” Arthur smiled and squeezed Merlin’s hand back. “So what is on the itinerary for this weekend?”

“I don’t really have loads planned. We should get to Edinburgh by five and be at my sister’s by 5:30. Morgana will probably want to catch up for an hour. Then after that we can do some sightseeing for two hours and be back around 8:30. We can stay up for an hour or so, but you should probably go to sleep as early as possible so you’re rested for the tourney tomorrow. Other than your tourney at 12:00, I don’t really have anything planned for Sunday. I suppose it’ll just depend on what happens there.” Merlin finished and looked over at Arthur.

Arthur knew he had a soppy grin on his face, but he couldn’t help it.

“Don’t say it.” Merlin laugh was full and bright. 

He covered his face as Arthur continued to stare. He got embarrassed so easily. 

“So...in your schedule have you planned for a kip?”

“For me?” Merlin gestured to himself.

“Yes.” Arthur looked toward the quiet road in front of him. Besides them, there were only two other cars out right now. “There’s really no navigating to do at least not for a couple of hours. You must be knackered. So sleep.”

Merlin hesitated. He looked down at his phone. “Are you sure? You’ll wake me in two hours. I don’t have to set an alarm?”

Arthur closed his eyes and shook his head. He looked at Merlin fondly. “No. I’ll wake you when I need you.”

“Alright.” Merlin nodded. He put his phone on the dashboard and then leaned back. He faced Arthur. “Don’t let me sleep too long.”

Arthur just pressed two fingers to his lips and then pressed them gently to Merlin’s forehead.

While he missed what would surely be a trip full of Merlin endlessly chattering away about useless trivia, Arthur was happy to let Merlin get some rest.

He’d been working overtime at his father’s pet store. Even though with Merlin’s grades, he would most likely get a scholarship, Merlin lived in fear of what would happen if that didn’t work out and tried to save up as much as he could. Even though school was more than a month away from starting, Merlin had decided to get a head start on preparing for their A levels.

Arthur loved how dedicated and determined he was, but sometimes Merlin didn’t know when to take a break. Even though Merlin didn’t like being coddled, Arthur did his best to try and take care of him.

They were getting close to their destination. Arthur inhaled deeply. He loved the smell of trees and they were surrounded now by some of the tallest he’d ever seen.

When he heard Merlin’s lips start to smack, he knew Merlin was about to fully wake up. He had a feeling Merlin would not react well to knowing how off course they were.

Once he opened his eyes, Merlin smiled dopily up at Arthur. After a brief stretch, he looked out the window. “What time is it?”

“Four.”

“Four?!” Merlin sat up immediately. “Four? Arthur, I was only supposed to be asleep for two hours. Why’d you let me sleep for so long? Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I told you I would when I needed you. I haven’t needed you yet,” Arthur answered.

Merlin rubbed at his eyes and took a look at the GPS. He shifted forward as far as the seatbelt would allow and gripped the device. “Why does the GPS indicate that we’re nowhere near Edinburgh?” He looked out the window again. “Bloody hell, you got lost didn’t you? How can you say you didn’t need me? You got lost in the woods. What if we miss your tourney tomorrow? What if we die out here?”

Arthur’s shoulder shook as he started to laugh.

Merlin’s eyes bugged out as he looked over at Arthur.

Arthur looked over at him and waved his hand and tried to stop laughing. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but sometimes when you go on like that it’s too funny. You get very dramatic. We’re not going to die, Merlin. I just planned a little detour.”

The expression on Merlin’s face wavered between confusion and annoyance. “A detour?”

“Yes.” Arthur nodded. He rolled his shoulders. He probably should have stopped once to take a break, but he didn’t want to wake Merlin. “We’re going to spend the night camping.”

“Camping?” 

Merlin was starting to remind Arthur of a parakeet with his constant repeating of everything Arthur said.

“We can’t go camping,” Merlin continued. “We’re supposed to be at Morgana’s tonight.”

“I called her yesterday. I told her my plan and she readily approved. She knows she’ll see us tomorrow,” Arthur explained.

Merlin opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly trying to think up some objections, but when he closed his mouth a final time, it seemed he couldn’t think of any. He sat back in his seat and almost immediately sat forward and faced Arthur. “But you don’t like camping, do you?”

“What would make you say that?”

“You’ve never mentioned going camping before.” Merlin blew out a breath. “And, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not really the outdoor type. You certainly wouldn’t like sleeping on the floor and potentially having bugs crawl all over you.” Merlin snickered. “I’ve never heard someone screech so loudly that one time when you saw a cricket in my house.”

“I will have you know I have never screeched in my life,” Arthur scoffed. “I was a bit startled, that’s all.”

The smirk on Merlin’s face said all Arthur needed to know about his opinion on that excuse.

Arthur moved on. “I wouldn’t have planned this little excursion with you if I didn’t enjoy it. It’s been a very long time, but I have gone camping a few times and I enjoyed it. It was a nice little adventure. I think it will be a good way for the both of us to relax.”

Merlin was quiet for a minute. While he started to chew his nails, he seemed to be coming around to the idea as he looked out the window at the lush greenery all surrounding them.

Suddenly, he put his head in his hands. “We don’t have anything to sleep on. Are we going to bed down directly on the leaves and rocks?”

“That’s how we used to do it. Don’t tell me you’ve never been camping without tents before?”

Merlin slowly looked up and rolled his eyes. “You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am.” Arthur grinned and reached over and ran his hand through Merlin’s hair. He was such an easy target, Arthur sometimes had a little too much fun teasing him. “You were right. I don’t exactly relish the idea of bugs crawling all over me. I packed a tent and food and other supplies.”

“Where?” Merlin looked behind him and eyed the back of the car. “You only brought one bag with you.”

“Today I only brought one bag, but yesterday I came with a couple of other bags. I put them in the boot when you weren’t looking,” Arthur explained.

Arthur could feel Merlin’s gaze on him and quickly glanced over.

The way Merlin was looking at him it was as if Arthur had done something extraordinary. It was like Arthur had gathered every star and handed them to him. Arthur would never tire of seeing that look of love in Merlin’s eyes and the way it made his chest almost burst.

“You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”

Arthur nodded. “I can be organized, too.”

Merlin just laughed and laid back and stared out the window.

It was only another twenty minutes before they arrived at their destination. 

Merlin’s mouth dropped open as he stepped out of the car. 

They had stopped in a wide clearing covered with bright green grass. Short trees surrounded them on one side and on the other was a large, still lake with grass-covered mountains overlooking it.

“Where are we?” Merlin turned to Arthur.

“It’s a property that my family owns. I called my uncle and out of the goodness of his heart he gave me permission to stay here this weekend.” Arthur pursed his lips. “Well, the goodness of heart and nominal fee. The “family rate” he called it.”

“Your uncle?” Merlin moved around the car towards Arthur as he still eyed the lake. “Your father doesn’t have any brothers.”

“It’s my Uncle Agravaine, my mother’s brother.”

Merlin got that look on his face whenever the subject of Arthur’s mother was even slightly broached. His eyes clouded over and he frowned as he put his arms around Arthur’s waist.

Arthur just looked up at the sky and smiled as he held Merlin. “Like I said I have been camping before. My family came here a couple of times. In fact we took our last trip here. My mother left a few months after that.”

Merlin stared at him and Arthur returned his gaze. “Does it make you sad being here?”

Arthur pondered this. He didn’t really know what he’d feel when he got here, while the emotions he felt were somewhat complicated he was surprised at how little sadness he felt. He shook his head. “No. It doesn’t make me sad thinking about my family’s time here. I have happy memories from being here.” He squeezed Merlin closer. “And I want to make more of them.”

Placing his head against Arthur’s chest, Merlin sighed. 

Arthur felt calm just like this - holding Merlin and feeling his hands stroking up and down his back.

After standing there for several minutes and just looking out at the water, they went and unloaded the car. Arthur took out a red and white checkered blanket from one of his bags and spread it out over the grass. He took out a brown wicker picnic basket

He kneeled down and held out his hand toward Merlin.

“Don’t you want to set up the tent?” Merlin looked between Arthur and the car.

“That can wait. I’m famished.” He beckoned Merlin again with his hand.

Merlin came forward and sat down. 

As Arthur opened the basket, he felt a tiny splash of water against the back of his neck. Uh oh. He turned toward Merlin. They both looked up and almost immediately the small splashes of water turned into a light drizzle.

“I suppose you planned for this?” Merlin said in a sarcastic tone.

Arthur just wrinkled his nose as it started to come down harder.

Merlin ran towards the car and Arthur quickly followed. 

They opened the boot of the car and got out the tent, which they immediately dropped. When they leaned over to pick it up, their heads bumped together with a loud thump.

“Ow!” Merlin yelped.

Arthur laughed as he rubbed the top of his head. He looked up at Merlin. His smile faltered as he was struck by Merlin’s beauty as he watched the water cascading over Merlin’s face. He felt like such a girl but there were times he wished he had some talent for drawing so he could capture Merlin’s beauty. 

Water droplets clung to his incredibly long lashes no matter how hard Merlin tried to blink them away. His blue eyes seemed to shine as he gazed up at Arthur. Arthur watched a drop of water slowly slide down Merlin’s plump lips which were still stretched as he beamed at Arthur.

Filled with longing and lust, Arthur crawled forward and took Merlin’s face in his hands and kissed Merlin breathless.

They separated and pressed their foreheads together. 

Arthur could feel Merlin’s breath on his face as he opened his mouth and panted. “We should probably stop. The tent…”

“Can wait,” Arthur finished as he licked his wet lips.

Merlin quickly nodded and they lunged for each other.

Arthur gripped Merlin’s arse firmly and lifted him up in his arms as he slowly lapped at Merlin’s mouth with his tongue and Merlin opened for him.

Easily, Arthur marched them over towards the blanket and laid Merlin down. Merlin immediately pulled at Arthur’s black t-shirt which was practically molded to his body.

Arthur didn’t want to break the kiss, but he had to pull back momentarily to rip it over his head. In that time, Merlin fumbled with the button of Arthur’s trousers. Arthur batted his hands away and made quick work of them. He then practically ripped off Merlin’s own offending garment.

With overwhelming lust Arthur took Merlin’s rapidly hardening cock in his hand and pushed his shirt up as he licked up Merlin’s chest.

“Fuck, Arthur!” Merlin moaned. He pushed and reached behind him to take off his shirt. 

The water pelted against Arthur’s back and he pushed his dripping fringe out of his eyes as he continued to stroke Merlin.

Slowly, Merlin climbed into Arthur’s lap and ground their cocks together. He took hold of Arthur’s hand and sucked his thumb - with the thumb ring - into his mouth and sucked obscenely.

Arthur’s eyes rolled back and he groaned. Merlin put his arms around Arthur’s neck and undulated his hips back and forth over Arthur’s painfully hard cock.

Practically dizzy with desire, Arthur threw his head back. Merlin tilted forward and sucked bruising kisses into the base of his throat.

As Merlin’s hips continued to work their magic, Arthur mouth fell open and he gasped. Opening his mouth was mistake as he choked on some water.

He tipped his head forward and coughed and ended up spitting water in Merlin’s face. After Arthur’s coughing fit, they looked at each other and both began to laugh. They were laughing so hard they fell over in a heap.

When Arthur had recovered he lifted his head and stared down at Merlin. Arthur ran his hand through his drenched black hair. Merlin reached for him and gripped the nape of Arthur’s neck. He flipped them over.

Arthur chuckled. With aching slowness Arthur leaned up and licked water from Merlin’s top lip and Merlin ground into him. 

There was no way Arthur could hold back any longer. He wanted Merlin right now. He gripped Merlin’s arse and nodded. Merlin got the hint and he slid into Arthur with a deep and slow thrust. He instantly started to move.

Arthur squeezed his arse again. “Slow down, Merlin. I want to feel you.”

Merlin quirked up his eyebrow. “I’m sorry. You couldn’t feel me before?”

Arthur’s brow furrowed. “I’d rather not answer that in my current position.”

“Funny.” Merlin gave one hard thrust.

“You know you love it,” Arthur groaned.

Merlin chuckled and pressed his face against Arthur’s shoulder and moved his hips at a slower pace. The expression on his face when he looked back at Arthur was so tender, Arthur’s breath caught in his throat.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” Merlin shook his head and sighed. “I know you hate it when I get all soppy.”

Well, Arthur pretended to hate it, but he enjoyed when Merlin’s unabashedly sentimental side came through.

Arthur leaned in a pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Say it,” he whispered.

“I love you, Arthur.”

“I love you, Merlin.”

They kissed again. As Merlin’s pace once again began to quicken, their kisses became sloppier and Arthur clung to Merlin as he breathed into his mouth with little gasps and moans.

The rain was slowing down to a light drizzle. Arthur wrapped his legs around Merlin and pulled him deeper inside.

“Oh, God, Merlin right there!” Arthur screamed. “Keep going. _Right there_!”

Merlin began to drive into Arthur relentlessly grunting with each merciless thrust, until he could feel Arthur come apart, his cock untouched and his head thrown back.

After just one or two more thrusts Merlin came as well and slumped bonelessly atop Arthur.

Soon, Merlin lifted off of him and slumped down next Arthur. The rain had completely stopped now.

A thought occurred to Arthur and he started to laugh.

Merlin stared at him with confusion.

“Congratulations, Merlin. We are now exhibitionists!”

Merlin slowly began to chuckle and pressed his face into Arthur’s shoulder as their laughter grew.

~*~

The starter gun went off and Arthur jumped into the water. Merlin excitedly cheered him on from the stands.

After they finished setting up the tent the previous night, they went skinny dipping and had sex in the lake. They then did some stargazing and fell asleep cuddled up together.

As Merlin watched Arthur swim, he really questioned whether he should be going to Arthur’s swimming competitions at all. The way Arthur moved his body in the water, at all times, really was astonishing. 

There was none of the clumsiness that Merlin had been cursed with. Arthur moved with confidence and grace and watching him always made Merlin aroused. Today it was even worse, since he kept thinking of their sex in the rain. 

When the swimmers were finished - Arthur finishing in first - Merlin immediately popped up and started applauding. Though once he remembered his previous thoughts, he quickly looked down to make sure he didn’t have an obvious erection.

Arthur looked up at Merlin and grinned as Merlin smiled back and waved.

When Arthur came out of the lockers, Merlin flew into his arms and gave him a huge hug.

“You were amazing, Arthur!” He pulled back and smiled. “No one was even close to you.”

Arthur stepped back and looked down at the floor. “I wasn’t so sure at first. I thought I got off to a bad start, but even Kilgharrah was impressed.”

Kilgharrah was Arthur’s swimming coach. If Merlin were being honest, he didn’t really like the man. Like Arthur’s father, Merlin always thought he was far tougher on Arthur than he needed to be.

“He says that if I win Junior World Championships then I really have a chance at making it to the Olympics,” Arthur explained sheepishly. He was always so humble when he got any praise.

They left the aquatic center and started walking back to Merlin’s car. “Kilgharrah also told me something really exciting - perhaps even better than the Olympics news.”

Merlin turned to him in surprise. “Even better than that?”

Arthur nodded. “Because of how well I’ve been doing in school and the competitions I’m winning, he thinks the Amateur Swimming Association might nominate me for a talented athlete scholarship.”

Merlin clapped his hands together and smiled widely. “Really?”

“Yeah.” As usual, Arthur tried to downplay it. “Don’t get too excited yet. I may not even happen and it’s not like I really need it. Father can afford to pay for me to go to Cambridge, but it would still be pretty brilliant. They’d pay for everything - school, food, training, and physio.”

Even though Arthur said not to get excited, Merlin couldn’t help but start to think how amazing this would be. He had no doubt Arthur had what it took to win and make all of his dreams come true.

They got back to the car. Since Merlin knew the way to his sister’s, he was driving. Before he could start the car, Arthur turned to him. “You know this wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for you.”

It was Merlin’s turn to be bashful and he looked down at his lap. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. I didn’t even want to go to college. I didn’t think I needed to. I wanted to focus on swimming, but you said how important it was that I don’t just rely on that - that I could have a future beyond that and it’s true. If I didn’t go on to my 12th year, this scholarship wouldn’t even be possible. You always push me to work harder. Thank you.”

Instead of weeping - which he was close to doing - Merlin leaned forward and kissed Arthur. 

Clearly, the plan to not burst into tears didn’t completely work because when Merlin pulled back, Arthur gently wiped away a tear from Merlin’s eye. Merlin smiled and pressed two more quick kisses to Arthur’s mouth.

“You’re welcome,” Merlin said while giggling.

They managed to get to Merlin’s sister’s house without taking any detours, though Merlin really wanted to. 

Morgana practically rushed out before Merlin had parked the car. They hadn’t seen each other in over a year and Merlin had really missed her. Unfortunately, Morgana and Balinor had a falling out when she dropped out of school when she got pregnant. Balinor had never even seen his granddaughter Morgause. 

In a lot of ways Morgana was one of Merlin’s heroes. She was truly doing things in her own way. The baby’s father Cenred wasn’t around, and while Hunith secretly tried to help as much as she could, Morgana was on her own. But Morgana never complained. With some government assistance and a job she was able to provide a fairly stable life for her daughter. Morgana planned to go back to school as soon as Morgause was a little older.

Morgana also had managed to strike up a nice friendship with Arthur. They had very similar personalities, and bumped heads constantly, but she also knew how much Arthur loved Merlin and had championed their relationship from the very beginning.

They had a nice visit. Merlin spent most of his time playing with his niece, while Morgana and Arthur argued about everything from politics to which was the most talented member of One Direction (Arthur always went with Harry.)

Morgana’s home was small, but it wasn’t in a bad neighborhood and clean and affordable, which was all she needed.

Arthur was stuck doing the dishes after dinner. Not so much out of the goodness of his heart because he’d lost a bet with Morgana over whose football team would come out on top in a head to head match (“Bloody Manchester United,” Arthur had grumbled.)

Morgana had offered Merlin some wine while they sat in her living room.

“I’m not much of a wine drinker,” Merlin tried to beg off.

Morgana pressed the glass into Merlin’s hand. “Just take it, Merlin. I rarely have adult-” Morgana glanced at him and shrugged. “Nearly adult company. Humor me. Plus, what are big sisters for if not getting their younger siblings hammered.”

Merlin snorted and took a sip of the red wine.

Morgana sat down on her small white loveseat and sat forward and played with the rim of her wine glass. “So, one more year.”

Merlin sat his glass down on the coffee table and nodded excitedly. “I can’t believe it. I feel like this year is going to be over before you know it.”

Morgana grinned slightly. “That’s the way it is. Sometimes it goes by so fast and sometimes it feels like the year will never be over. You should try and enjoy it. It’s not going to be the same after it’s over.”

“I know.” Merlin really couldn’t wait.

Morgana pursed her lips and took a sip. She swallowed and looked over at Merlin. “Things might not go according to your plan, Merlin.”

Merlin ran a hand through his hair and laughed nervously. “I know that.”

“I know you think you and Arthur will last forever-”

“We will,” Merlin interrupted. 

“Merlin, if things go according to your plan you’ll be attending the University College London and Arthur will be at Cambridge,” Morgana said as if this was new information to Merlin.

He’d heard this already from both of his parents.

“You make it sound so much worse that it is. We’ll only be an hour and half away from each other. We can see each other as much as we want.” Merlin stood up and walked towards the corner of the room and looked out the window.

Morgana groaned. “You’re oversimplifying things, Merlin. The work at university will be much more difficult and time consuming than in sixth form. You won’t be able to come and go as you choose. You’ll be meeting new people.”

Merlin scrubbed a hand down his face. “I don’t care who I meet. I love Arthur with all of my heart. That’s not going to change.”

“You’re only seventeen. You’ve barely lived.” Morgana walked behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. 

Merlin turned around. He wasn’t going to blow up at her. While he wasn’t happy with what she was saying, he knew she was trying to look out for him - and Arthur. “I may have barely lived, but I know my own heart and I know who I love. No one will make me as happy as Arthur does.”

~*~

Arthur had been quiet ever since they left Morgana’s. They decided to stay and camp for one more night before they headed home. 

His father had been texting him constantly, but after the first day and letting Uther know he had made it there safe, he had ignored him.

They made sure to set the tent up earlier this time, but they laid out a blanket by the lake and sat with their feet in the water.

It was cold, dark, and quiet. The soothing sounds of the water almost calmed Arthur’s nerves.

Merlin took hold of Arthur’s hand and squeezed. “Are you alright?”

For a second, Arthur thought about not mentioning what was troubling him, but he didn’t want to lie to Merlin. He sighed. “I heard you and your sister talking last night. She doesn’t think we’re going to make it.”

Merlin’s eyes widened slightly and he shook his head. “I don’t think that’s what she meant. She was just worried and wanted to make sure I was being realistic.”

“Are you?” Arthur glanced up at him and frowned. “Are we?”

“Yes. Maybe it sounds naive but we’re different Arthur, I know it.” Merlin splashed his feet in the water. He gazed up at Arthur with a bright and warm smile. “Arthur, I’ve never been the most confident person. It’s one of the reasons I rely on making plans so much. I don’t always trust that things will work out without them. But you and me,” Merlin’s smile widened, “I don’t question us, _ever_.”

Arthur wanted to feel comforted by that - and he mostly did - but he was still scared.

As he looked at Arthur, Merlin’s confidence seemed to falter slightly. He rubbed his hand up and down Arthur’s thigh. “How do you feel?”

Arthur scratched the back of his neck and hesitated before answering. “I love you and I don’t think I could feel this way about anyone else, but...my parents fell in love when they were our age and you know how that ended.”

Merlin reached out and put his hand against Arthur’s cheek. “Arthur, you’re not your father and I am not your mother.”

His words and his touch soothed Arthur’s worries and his nerves started to settle. He climbed into Merlin’s lap and pressed him down to the ground.

“That is a very good thing, considering the things I want to do to you.”

Merlin chuckled, which got cut off when Arthur kissed him deeply. His tongue licked against the roof of Merlin’s mouth and he stroked his hands up Merlin’s chest.

When Arthur pulled back he stared down at Merlin. He felt so naked and vulnerable in this moment and decided to be completely honest with Merlin. “I’m so happy that you have so much confidence in us. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

Merlin runs his fingers over Arthur’s lips and kisses him gently. “You know if I had said something like that you would tease me mercilessly.”

“But you’re better than that?” Arthur asked hopefully.

“Much better.” Merlin grinned and then kissed him again.

~*~

Merlin put his head in Arthur’s lap. He rubbed at his temples. He’d been studying Critical Thinking for two hours and was starting to get a headache. He looked up at Arthur, who didn’t seem to be having as much trouble studying Law, which he supposed made sense since it was Arthur’s favorite subject.

Two little bundles of energy flew past them on the sofa. Merlin struggled to sit up. “Freya! Mordred! What did I tell you about running in the house?”

Along with studying, Merlin (with an assist from Arthur) was supposed to be babysitting his younger siblings. 

He got up and chased them down. He picked both of them up and carried them, squirming and giggling, back into the living room. 

Arthur was watching them with a fond expression. Merlin knew how lonely Arthur had been growing up. As annoying as Freya and Mordred could sometimes be, Arthur envied Merlin’s bond with his siblings.

Freya, who was surprisingly agile, climbed up onto his back as Merlin deposited Mordred onto the armchair next to the sofa.

“I want a piggyback ride,” Freya declared.

Merlin looked over his shoulder. “Aren’t you getting a bit old for that?”

“Yes, but I still want a piggyback ride.”

Merlin chuckled. “Fine. Just for five minutes in the backyard.”

Mordred jumped up on the chair. “You have to give me a ride, too.”

“Now, I know you’re too old for this.”

Mordred pouted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

Merlin knew he would have to give in. Mordred was fairly stubborn for a ten year old. He was sure he must have gotten that from their father.

Before he could take them outside, Balinor and Hunith walked in the front door. 

Mordred and Freya were off like a rocket completely forgetting about Merlin and promises of piggyback rides.

They were jumping up and down and squealing as they greeted their parents. Sometimes Merlin wondered if they were part dog with how they reacted every time their parents came home.

Arthur stood up and snaked his arm around Merlin’s waist. “I believe I was next.”

Merlin snickered. “You want a piggyback ride?”

He could see Arthur’s dirty mind’s wheels spinning as Arthur smirked at him.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be a piggyback ride. Any ride will do.”

Merlin shook his head even as he turned to Arthur and grinned. “You have such a filthy mind.”

“I know. It’s awful.” Arthur said without a hint of sincerity. He nuzzled Merlin’s neck.

Merlin was giggling and pushing Arthur away as his mum and dad walked into the living room.

Arthur stood up straight immediately and tried to wipe the smile off his face. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Emrys.”

“Hello, boys.” Hunith smiled warmly at Arthur. She was always so welcoming.

Balinor on the other hand chose to ignore Arthur and headed over to the kitchen, with Freya and Mordred still practically clinging to his trouser leg.

Setting the paper bags in his hand down, Balinor finally looked over at Arthur and Merlin. “What have you two been up to?”

“We were studying. Your little monsters interrupted us and somehow managed to get me to promise to give them piggyback rides.” Merlin stepped towards him and dragged Arthur behind him.

Balinor grinned down at Mordred. “Is that right?”

Mordred nodded.

“But, thankfully, now that you’re here I don’t have to do that anymore. I don’t think my back is as strong as it used to be,” Merlin said as he rubbed his back.

“Nonsense.” Balinor pointed a can of coffee at him. “We always honor promises in this house.”

Merlin turned to Arthur and rolled his eyes.

Hunith saw that and wagged her finger at him even as she let out a small chuckle. She walked over to Arthur and Merlin as she spoke to her husband. “I think their studying is a bit more important, wouldn’t you agree?” She looked over her shoulder at Balinor.

Balinor shrugged. “Yes...if they were actually studying.”

They all heard that last part of his remark, but they choose to ignore it.

“Arthur, you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner.”

“But don’t feel like you must,” Balinor added.

Merlin glared at him.

Arthur had learned to ignore those kinds of remarks from Balinor and just stroked his hand down Merlin’s arm. “Thank you, Mrs. Emrys but it’s French night at home. Our trip is in a month and my father has really been obsessed with shoving everything French down my throat.”

“Another time then,” Hunith said. “It must be exciting getting to go on this trip with your father.”

Merlin and Arthur shared a dubious look. 

Arthur formed a thin line as he attempted to respond tactfully. “That’s one way of putting it.”

~*~

Arthur drummed his fingers against the table and blew out a breath. He absolutely hated classical music. As someone who grew up in an upper class household, who was expected to really love the finer - more sophisticated things in life - his father constantly had it playing in the house as if he was trying to make Arthur appreciate it more through osmosis.

In moments of dark humor, Arthur sometimes joked with Merlin that his mother probably left to escape the concert hall that their home sometimes felt like.

Right now Uther had Beethoven’s greatest hits on a loop as they sat at their long, glass table for dinner. Uther was sitting so far away that Arthur could barely hear him, not that Uther talked very often. 

They had just finished their first course which was Soupe a l’oignon. The cook was going to be coming out with the entree soon.

“Pendant que je vais etre occupe Arthur, je dois profiter de nombreuses activites prevues,” Uther needed to loudly state to reach Arthur’s ears.

Arthur tried to hold back a snort. He was sure his idea of fun was vastly different than his father’s, though he was glad that at least Uther was making an effort to plan a way to spend time with Arthur over there.

But Arthur couldn’t resist making a joke. “Aussi longtemps que je ne dois pas passer plus de temps a ecouter de la musique classique, je suis sur que ca va etre le plus amusant que je vais avoir toute l’annee.”

As usual, Uther didn’t really appreciate Arthur’s joke. He didn’t have time to rebuke Arthur for it because dinner was served.

The cook placed the food down in front of them. It was covered by a silver tray. Whatever it was smelled good.

“Je suis sur que vous apprecierez le coq au vin autant que je fais,” Uther declared with a rare smile.

Arthur lifted the tray off and the smell chicken wafted up into his nose. While it smelled lovely, it was so strong. Arthur was surprised to find himself gagging. He put his hand over his mouth and ran out of the room.

He vomited for more than a minute. He sat next to the toilet and wiped at his mouth. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d thrown up, especially not like that.

Instead of being sympathetic, his father looked livid as he appeared in the door to Arthur’s bathroom. “I don’t believe you, Arthur. You cannot behave this way when you go to France. It was just chicken.”

“I’m sorry, father. I think it was the mushrooms. I’m not really a great fan of those.” Arthur tried to come up with an explanation.

Uther just shook his head. “If you have to vomit, please have a little more tact next time.”

Arthur was too tired to shoot his father an appropriate withering look. He half nodded and his head thudded back against the vanity.

It was a struggle, but Arthur went back downstairs and managed to finish the dinner. He trudged up the stairs afterwards.

When he got to his room he sat down heavily on his bed. Now that he had a minute to think, he really wondered why he had reacted that way. He didn’t usually have any problems with mushrooms - he loved them, but the smell really had turned him off.

He clutched at his stomach as he felt nauseous again. On top of that his head was killing him. He lay back on his bed with a groan.

After a few minutes, he staggered over to his dresser and picked up his laptop. He booted his computer up. He tried to think of anything that felt unusual over the last week. On top of the throwing up, he’d had a few headaches and felt more tired lately. He’d also found himself urinating four times a day, which wasn’t usual for him.

When he looked them all up, he laughed when the first thing that was suggested was pregnancy. He supposed it wasn’t that funny. Male pregnancies were on the rise. It still wasn’t something he’d heard of very much, especially for someone his age.

But, more to have a laugh than anything else, he looked up more early pregnancy symptoms. It was starting to get less humorous the more signs he recognized. 

Not to brag, but Arthur had flawless skin. Having a pimple wasn’t unheard of for him, but it didn’t happen that often, even when he was younger, but suddenly he’d had two huge pimples - one on his chin and the other on his temple.

Then there were his heightened emotions. He’d actually cried watching _The Lego Movie_ a couple of days before.

Putting it altogether, Arthur went from finding the idea ludicrous to legitimately almost having a panic attack. His head started to spin, which did not help with his headache. He reached for his phone. He almost called Merlin, but thought better of it. There was no reason to frighten Merlin when it was most likely something else.

Doing his best impression of Merlin, Arthur came up with a simple plan. He would just buy a pregnancy test tomorrow and put his fears to rest.

The next day, he avoided his father as much as possible, which was easy since Uther was still upset over his throwing up at dinner. 

Avoiding Merlin was next to impossible. They only had one class together, but they spent every lunch break together and if Arthur had begged off Merlin might have gotten worried.

With the way he behaved, he still ended up worrying him. He was tense and almost bit Merlin’s head off when he took a chip off his tray. 

Merlin could clearly sense there was something wrong, but Arthur just said he was feeling a little sick. Merlin wanted to take care of him immediately, but Arthur said it was unnecessary and he was already feeling better, though that didn’t seem to convince Merlin.

Arthur and Merlin’s friend, Gwen, also picked up on Arthur’s odd behavior. When she questioned Arthur, he tried to make excuses like he did with Merlin, but finally he gave in and told Gwen his fear. It was embarrassing, but he couldn’t go through this completely alone.

Proving what an excellent friend she was, Gwen drove Arthur to an out of the way convenience store and bought two pregnancy tests for him. They went to Gwen’s and he took the test in Gwen’s bathroom.

Arthur paced while he waited for the results.

“It’s a fairly simple test,” Gwen explained. “If after a minute plus sign appears in the window it’s positive, and if it’s a minus sign it’s negative.”

Arthur looked down at his phone. They had to wait another twenty seconds. It was the longest twenty seconds of his life. When the time was up, Arthur went back to the bathroom and picked the test up. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s a plus sign.” Arthur smiled broadly. “It’s positive.”

Gwen winced. “Arthur, in this situation positive is not good.”

Arthur’s face quickly crumpled as he looked at the test and back at Gwen. The realization was slowly sinking in and he threw the stick down. “It’s just wrong. It has to be. I know it’s because I’m not a woman and these tests weren’t made for men.”

Gwen hugged her arms to her chest and scuffed the carpet with her foot. “I’m sorry, Arthur. My mum’s a doctor and these tests are accurate for men, too. It’s 99% effective.”

Arthur rubbed at his forehead. “Well, then I’m-I’m the one percent. I’m the one percent.” His voice shook as he repeated it. “I’m the one percent.”

Gwen went over and put her arms around him and he fell back against her chest. He didn’t know how he was going to tell Merlin.

Gwen offered him a ride to Balinor’s pet store, Camelot’s Animal Shop, but he declined. It was only five minutes from Gwen’s house and he needed the time to clear his head.

When he got to the shop, he was beyond grateful that Balinor wasn’t there. It was just Merlin and another friend of theirs, Gwen’s boyfriend Lance. 

Merlin beamed at him and ran right up to Arthur when he slowly stepped inside. He stopped smiling when he saw the expression on Arthur’s face. “Arthur, what’s wrong?”

Arthur just stared at him. He looked so happy and he hated that he was going to be the one to take that away from him. “Good day?” He managed to squeak out.

“Yes. Alice Lang came by and the golden retriever she bought from here just had puppies. They were the most adorable things you could ever see.”

Arthur nodded slowly and walked behind Merlin. “That’s wonderful. I’m glad you’re so fond of babies.”

Merlin quickly stepped in front of him. “Arthur, what’s wrong?”

Arthur closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Do you remember when Morgana told you she was pregnant?”

There was confusion at first, as Merlin’s eyes searched his face. Arthur could tell the moment it finally hit Merlin. Both his mouth and eyes grew wider and wider and his face paled. He took Arthur’s hand and led him to the small, cramped backroom.

Merlin grasped Arthur’s shoulders gently. “You can’t be.”

Arthur was prepared to blame the pregnancy hormones as he could feel his eyes well up. He stared up at Merlin. “But I am.”

Merlin gasped and wrapped Arthur up in a tight embrace.

God, Arthur had needed that. He pressed his eyes shut tightly. 

When Merlin pulled back, he rubbed his hands up and down Arthur’s arms. “I don’t know how this could have happened.” He grimaced. “I mean, I know how. I just...you’re a bloke.”

“You don’t say.” Arthur said with venom dripping from his words. He stepped back fully and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bite your head off.”

“It’s alright. I deserve it. This is my fault.”

Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Merlin, I was there, too. Remember? This is just as much my doing as it is yours.”

Merlin threw up his hands. “I know that...logically. But with Morgana and now this, it’s like there’s something wrong with my family.”

“It’s called being incredibly fertile. Your mum had four kids; it’s not exactly a surprise.” Arthur said in a weary voice.

Merlin tentatively reached over and put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur quickly found his way in his arms again.

“I’m going to look like such a freak, Merlin. I think I’m the first male pregnancy in Camelot, let alone at our school. Everyone’s going to know and they’re going to think...I don’t know what they’re going to think. I don’t know what I think.” Arthur huffed against Merlin’s chest. “I certainly can’t swim in a few months.”

Merlin groaned. “Oh, God Arthur.” He looked down at him. “Your swimming. The scholarship…”

He hadn’t even thought about it in those terms. But Merlin was right. This changed everything. Arthur slowly walked away and leaned over and gripped the edges of a thin yellow table in the corner. “It’s over.”

Merlin quickly came up behind him and turned Arthur to face him. “It doesn’t have to be.” He gulped. “We have options.”

Honestly, Arthur didn’t even want to think of those options right then. He didn’t want to think about anything. He just wanted Merlin to hold him and make all of this go away, even though he knew that wasn’t going to happen, he melted into Merlin’s arms again and hoped like hell it was possible.

~*~

Even after what happened with Morgana, Merlin had never really considered the possibility of dealing with a pregnancy, especially considering that he was gay. Male pregnancy existed, but it was just an idea. It wasn’t real. Not to him. Not until now. Now it was very real.

Now, he was forced to sit and discuss whether or not to abort their child or give it up for adoption. 

Merlin and Arthur and some of their friends were sitting outside on the grounds behind their school Camelot College. Arthur had his arms around Merlin as they were sitting directly under a large oak tree. 

Merlin had tried to sit down and come up with a plan to figure things out. He tried to write a pro and con list for every option and had to throw it out. They couldn’t figure this out logically. They couldn’t plan for this. That thought made Merlin’s throat constrict and his head spin even more.

Gwen, Lance, and Leon were trying to discuss things rationally and were really trying to be helpful. It was having the opposite effect though. It was just making things more confusing, if that were possible.

“I heard that Sophie Longfellow had one,” Gwen offered. 

She picked at the top of a banana, but didn’t look like she had any plans to eat it. She almost looked as stressed over the situation as Merlin and Arthur.

“No offense to Sophie, but you might want to be more specific. Given her reputation there are a lot of things she could have ‘had.’” Arthur joked.

Everyone could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, but his voice was shaky, and he was clearly not up to being as jovial as he was normally.

“She had an abortion.”

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck and coughed. He couldn’t help getting uncomfortable every time the topic of abortion came up. He knew there was nothing wrong with having one, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around actually going through with that.

No one had even suggested they actually keep the child. It wasn’t something that Merlin had truly considered when Arthur had first told him about the pregnancy. How could they keep it? They were so young and had their whole lives ahead of them.

Merlin knew that Morgana had a child young and was surviving, but he didn’t think he was as strong as her and Merlin couldn’t ask Arthur to give up on his plans. It was selfish.

Despite all of that, Merlin couldn’t help dreaming about their potential baby. He knew he would love it, that was something he had no doubt of. A child who was parts of him and Arthur, the thought of it made him ache inside. He wanted to throw logic out the window, but he didn’t know how to even broach the subject.

He didn’t want to pressure Arthur and put him under any more stress.

Merlin cleared his throat.

Arthur had been spending as little time as possible at his house. He couldn’t even look at his father. Merlin wasn’t having it any easier around his parents. He knew his parents would be devastated to find out about the baby.

Merlin and Arthur sat down and didn’t say anything. They didn’t really want to talk about the baby, but talking about anything else seemed pointless and unimportant.

“Lay back,” Merlin suddenly said as he stood up. 

Arthur looked up at Merlin in confusion briefly, but complied.

Merlin took Arthur’s shoes off and started to massage his right foot.

Arthur moaned. He smiled at Merlin. “You must have been reading my mind.”

Merlin grinned, but a stifling silence soon filled the room again. After another minute, Merlin couldn’t take it anymore. “Did you ever think about having kids before?” 

Even though they had been dating for years, they’d never truly discussed it because they had been so young.

Arthur looked up at the ceiling. “Not really. Not for a long time any way. I’ve been worried that I’d turn out like my mother. Clearly she wasn’t meant to be a parent and my father always tells me how much I’m like her.”

Merlin must have hit a particularly sensitive spot because Arthur’s eyes rolled back in his head. 

His gaze soon landed on Merlin and he looked up at him with love shining in his eyes. “But then I met you and I started to think maybe having a child wouldn’t be so bad. Of course I thought that would be fairly far into the future.” He sighed. “I never imagined I would be pregnant. I never imagined I’d have to consider whether or not to have an abortion or give up my child. Our child.”

Merlin gulped. He thought maybe it was time to consider another option. Before he could say anything, they were interrupted by Hunith.

“Dinner’s ready, children.”

Arthur got up gingerly and he moved toward the door.

Merlin opened the door, but then closed it suddenly and whirled around. “Maybe we should tell our parents. They might able to offer some advice.”

Arthur shook his head vehemently. “Absolutely not. Our fathers already dislike each other, they would disagree just to spite each other and we’d end up right back where we started except now with 100% more looks of parental disappointment and judgement. I can’t handle that right now. This is our baby and we need to decide.”

Merlin could only nod. He knew Arthur was right.

~*~

No matter how much they wanted it not to be true, time was ticking away fast, and they needed to make a decision. Arthur was about to enter his second trimester and even worse his trip with his father would be in a few days.

Arthur truly didn’t want to go, but didn’t know how to get out of it. Hunith had decided to mark the occasion, especially since she knew how depressed Merlin would be with Arthur gone, by getting both families together for a special dinner. She’d made Arthur’s favorite dishes.

It was like pulling teeth, but Arthur had convinced his father not to appear rude and at least stay for an hour.

As soon as they got there, Arthur left Uther to make awkward conversation with Merlin’s parents. He got to Merlin’s room and quickly closed the door behind him.

“Merlin, I can’t take this much longer. We have to decide. I have to tell my father I’m pregnant before we go on this trip. I can’t spend a week with him like this. At home I can avoid him, but not over there.” He was out of breath by the time he blurted it all out.

Merlin rushed forward and took hold of Arthur’s shoulders. “Alright, we’ll make a decision before you leave. I promise. Just calm down. Getting agitated like this isn’t good for the baby. If it gets upset, it might scratch you or something.”

Arthur looked at Merlin as if he had grown two heads.

Merlin laughed lightly. “It has fingernails now. And toenails.”

Arthur cocked his head to the side. “How do you know that?”

There was a faint blush on Merlin’s cheeks. “I did some reading online.”

Arthur took Merlin’s hands in his and squeezed his hands. 

He’d avoided doing any reading about the pregnancy. If he knew what was going on inside of him, it would make the baby more real. If it was real, making this decision would just get harder. But looking at Merlin’s face, he realized there was no getting around it. This was real. He was carrying their baby.

 _Merlin’s_ baby. How could he want to do anything other than raise it? But that wasn’t logical. It just wasn’t.

Arthur looked over his shoulder toward the door and then back at Merlin. “We should probably head downstairs.”

Merlin just nodded and squeezed Arthur’s hand.

They slowly made their way to the dining room. No one except for Mordred and Freya - who kept whispering to each other - were doing a lot of talking, though his father had made sure to make a few snide comments to warn Arthur against eating too much and gaining more weight.

At one point, a pot of sausage was passed to Arthur and the smell was too much and he turned green. He was trying to hold back on throwing up. It was looking like the feeling was about to pass, when Freya tugged on his sleeve. Arthur turned to her.

“Why do they call it morning sickness if you can have it at night?” She asked in such an innocent voice.

Arthur’s eyes bugged out of his head. He realized right away she must have overheard them talking. His breath quickened and he couldn’t bring himself to look at anyone.

“What-what is she talking about?” His father’s icy voice broke through the silence.

Arthur finally turned his head slowly and only looked at Merlin. He had an equal expression of quiet panic.

When Arthur dared to look at their parents, they were all staring at him. Hunith looked confused and Balinor and Uther had equal looks of confusion, anger, and fear.

Arthur wrung his hands and looked down at the table. He took a deep breath and when he was done exhaling faced his father. “Congratulations, father. I’m not getting fat, I’m just pregnant.”

To their surprise, there was complete silence for almost one second exactly. After that all hell broke loose. Their fathers started to bellow simultaneously and their words were indecipherable. Hunith looked close to tears. She was the one Arthur felt worse about disappointing.

Arthur and Merlin turned to each other and held hands as their father’s verbal assault continued to reign down on them.

Finally, things began to calm down and they moved into the living room. They started to get down to the heart of the matter - what they would do about the baby.

“While I normally don’t agree with ridiculous liberal thinkers and their tedious slogans, I will have to concede that the idea of this being Arthur’s body and it being his choice makes sense.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. Uther truly didn’t see the hypocrisy in such a statement since he was trying to dictate what Arthur did with his pregnancy.

“That is a load of bollocks,” Balinor spit out. “There is a child involved, for God’s sake. My daughter’s accident may have been a mistake, but at least she had the decency to see it through and not kill it.”

“It’s not an it, dad.” Merlin piped up.

Balinor looked at him sharply.

Merlin just shrugged. “She’s your granddaughter. Her name is Morgause.”

Balinor glared at Merlin, but didn’t say anything.

Hunith stared at Merlin with some admiration in her eyes. She finally spoke up. “We haven’t even asked the children what they want to do.”

“They don’t get to decide this,” Balinor answered immediately. “They got into this mess and it’s up to us to fix it for their future’s sake. Merlin cannot throw away his life like his sister did. This baby has to go up for adoption.”

“You don’t get to decide that. Worry about teaching the rest of your children how to properly use contraceptives. Perhaps you can avoid this happening a third time. As far as my son is concerned, this has been decided.” Uther sneered. “Come, Arthur. We have a procedure to schedule.”

Uther left without another word.

Arthur just looked heavenward and sighed. He stood up slowly and faced Merlin. He looked devastated, but clearly was at a loss for words.

Arthur backed away and headed towards the door. He mouthed “I love you.” Merlin mouthed it back.

“Arthur!” Uther bellowed.

Arthur turned and with a heavy heart, followed his father.

Uther didn’t say another word to him on the way home or once they had arrived. He went into his study and shut the door. 

The next morning, he woke Arthur up by handing him a slip of paper with the time of his appointment.

It was like Arthur was in a trance all day. He got dressed. He ate, but he couldn’t even tell you what he was wearing or what he had eaten. It was like he was on autopilot. It was the best way he knew how to handle it. He had to shut down his emotions.

When he headed towards the front door, Uther finally spoke up. “You’re doing the right thing.”

Arthur slowly turned around.

Uther walked over to him and gingerly put one hand on his shoulder. “This is the right thing.” Uther awkwardly let his hand slide off Arthur and it fell to his side. “When you were born, your mother couldn’t hold you. She couldn’t hold you for months, but I convinced her to. I convinced her that she could love you and she could be a good parent.” He laughed bitterly. ‘We see how that turned out. Arthur, some people are not meant to be parents. The sooner they realize that the better it is for everyone.”

Arthur let out a choked sob, but refused to cry in front of his father. He turned and hurriedly rushed out the door. Once he was outside, he let his head fall against the door. 

His father was definitely right about one thing - some people were not equipped to be parents.

~*~

Merlin was like a zombie all day. He had gotten things wrong all day and was completely useless. Instead of sending him home, his father told him to work in the back cleaning animal cages.

He didn’t want to go home anyway. Even though he could barely function he needed to do something to get his mind off what was probably happening right now.

He would get off work in an hour and then go and pick Arthur up. He had to prepare himself for what he was going to say. This ultimately wasn’t what he had wanted, but he would not shame Arthur for this. He had to be supportive.

A half an hour before he was supposed to leave, he was shocked when Arthur marched past him. He gave Merlin a quick glance and motioned for Merlin to follow him. Merlin complied and followed Arthur into the backroom.

Merlin gulped. Even though he had been practicing, he didn’t know what to say. He started to speak when Arthur interrupted him and completely floored him.

“I didn’t do it.”

Merlin stumbled a little and put his hand out against the wall to steady himself.

“I couldn’t do it. I know that there’s nothing wrong with it. For some people, it’s the right decision, but not me. This baby...It’s you and me. It’s ours and I want it. Some people aren’t meant to be parents, but I don’t think that’s us. It’s a little early, but I want our future to start now.”

Arthur clutched at his stomach and looked a bit unsure as he finished.

Merlin steadily walked towards him and crushed Arthur to him. He pulled back and kissed him fiercely. “Arthur, this is what I want, too.”

Arthur let out a huge breath and smiled in relief. He wrapped his arms around Merlin.

When they looked at each other again, they both looked nervous. But Merlin could see in Arthur’s eyes that he was sure of this decision. Merlin was too.

“We’re going to be parents.” Arthur said in a disbelieving whisper.

Merlin nodded. “We are.” He pursed his lips. “I guess now we just have to deal with our parents.”

~*~

It was Christmastime. Putting aside their differences, Uther and the Merlin’s parents gathered together once more.

Arthur and Merlin hoped that in this season of family, love, and forgiveness that they would be more receptive to their news. They waited until after gifts had awkwardly been exchanged, before Arthur cleared his throat.

“We have a special gift that we want to share with all of you.” He looked up at Merlin, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa holding Arthur close. Arthur turned back to their parents. “We’re starting a family.”

Their parents exchanged confused looks.

“In the future?” Hunith asked, even though she sounded skeptical. 

Merlin shook his head. “No. Now.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “We decided to keep the baby.”

Uther and Balinor’s eyes seemed to bulge simultaneously.

Uther pointed at Arthur. “You told me you had the procedure.”

“No, no.” Arthur held up his hand. “I said everything went alright. And that’s why...because I didn’t go through with it.”

Uther roughly tugged at his hair. “What were you thinking?”

Arthur stood up. “I was thinking that I love Merlin and I love our child already. We can do this. We just need your support.”

“What about school?” Balinor asked as he marched toward them.

“We talked to the principal and he said that Arthur can take some time off, but I can still go. I can still go to university, if you help.”

Balinor shook his head. “You decided you want to play at being parents, but you want our help? We tried to give you that and you willfully disobeyed us.”

Merlin pointed at his dad. “You didn’t want him to have the abortion in the first place.”

“But I didn’t want you to throw away your life either, son. And make no mistake that’s what you’ll be doing and I will have no part of it.”

Merlin inhaled sharply. 

Arthur reached out and took his hand. With everything that happened with Morgana, his reaction wasn’t a surprise, but it still clearly hurt Merlin. Arthur wished his father would open his eyes and stop being so ridiculously stubborn.

Merlin looked down at the floor briefly, but picked his head up and stared down his father. “I feel sorry for you, dad. You’re so stubborn and set in your ways that the minute your children don’t live up to what you expect from them you cut them off.” He looked over at his mother who had tears streaming down her face. “If you want to cut us out of your life then it’s your loss because Morgana is brave and wonderful and so is her daughter.”

Taking a step back, Merlin took Arthur’s hand in his. “Our child will be loved, even if it’s not by you.” Merlin turned to Arthur. “Let’s go.”

They tried to leave, but Uther grabbed Arthur’s hand. “No.”

Arthur ripped his hand away. 

“You’re not going anywhere. I don’t care what Merlin wants to do with his life. His family’s only talent seems to be producing less and less intelligent children. His family is nothing and Merlin will always be nothing.”

Arthur lunged forward and pushed his father. Uther landed on the ground before any of them could even blink.

Arthur stood over him. “He is not nothing. He is the father of your grandchild. He is the man I love and he means more to me than you ever will.” 

He crouched down and worried his lip with his teeth. It was painful to look at his father. He really believed that he started out with the best of intentions, but when Ygraine left something must have broken inside of him.

“Father, I really am truly grateful for you choosing to stay and try and raise me. You did your best, but it just wasn’t good enough. I deserved better and I promise you I will do better for my child, with or without your help.” He stood up and touched his stomach. “I’m not my mother and I’m not you.”

He felt like a true weight had been lifted off his chest. When he reached for Merlin’s hand, he truly believed he would have all he would ever need.

They walked out into the snow and they looked at each other and couldn’t help smiling.

Arthur was bundled up, but was still freezing in the snow. They rushed towards Merlin’s car. But before they could get inside, Merlin stopped. He looked at Arthur over the hood of the car and beamed at him.

He raced toward Arthur and took his hand. He paused before he kneeled down. 

Arthur covered his mouth with his other hand. He had not been expecting this at all. Clearly, Merlin hadn’t planned it since he didn’t have a ring.

“Arthur, I told you before that I never questioned if we belonged together and that’s still true. This is the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t have a plan for this and that should terrify me - and it does. But more than that, I feel sure. It’s earlier than we planned but our family is meant to be. I know that I will love you forever and I want that to start as soon as possible. So, will you please marry me?” Merlin gave him a truly blinding smile.

It was unexpected, but so perfect. Arthur didn’t even have to think about it. He grabbed Merlin’s coat and pulled him up. He kissed him soundly. Still ghosting his lips over Merlin’s, he breathed his answer into his mouth, “Yes.”

~*~

Things of course weren’t easy. This wasn’t exactly a fairytale. But with help from Morgana and teachers at school, Merlin and Arthur got the assistance they needed to find a relatively inexpensive flat and get the money they needed to pay their bills.

It was always a struggle to pay rent month to month, but considering how much worse it could have been Arthur and Merlin felt lucky.

Being the only pregnant male in Camelot definitely drew a lot of unwanted attention, but Arthur had to find a way to deal with it. He was depressed that he had to put school and swimming on hold, but he was determined that it wouldn’t be a permanent setback. He’d get back there eventually.

Things with their families didn’t get better right away. Merlin and Arthur both assumed they would never speak to their fathers again and Arthur still hadn’t spoken to his father. But Merlin was able to make tentative steps towards a truce with Balinor.

It helped that Hunith had finally had enough and kicked Balinor out of the house for months. Balinor knew if he didn’t try to change his ways he would lose her forever. 

Hunith was the only one of their parents who attended Arthur and Merlin’s wedding at the beginning of the year.

With the stress of studying for his A levels coming around the same time the baby was due, it became harder and harder to keep up with paying rent. As much as they had wanted to prove that they could make it on their own, for their baby’s sake they decided they needed to learn to accept that they couldn’t do it all.

Hunith allowed them to move into Merlin’s old house. They set things up in the basement so they could have their own space. That worked out, especially when Balinor finally was allowed to move back in just before the baby was born.

Even though he still had trouble accepting the idea that Merlin was married, Balinor tried to keep his opinions to himself and was there the day the baby was born.

It was a girl. Merlin picked out the name and called her Fionnoula after his grandmother.

They lay in the hospital bed together. It was just the three of them. Fionnoula was cradled in Arthur’s arms and they couldn’t stop staring at her.

Arthur looked up at Merlin. “This is our family.”

Merlin nodded as a tear rolled down his face. “It really is. I promise you Arthur, this is forever.”

Arthur gripped Merlin’s hand. “I’m going to hold you to that.”


End file.
